Mallory Ortberg has a brilliant take on a similar question, written from a largely female point of view. So I wondered, how might a man tell if he’s living in a Jane Austen novel?
- You once proposed to a woman and it did not go as well as expected. To say the least.
- Your sister is in love with your best friend, who is in love with the sister of the woman you are in love with.
- You own a library.
- You find it difficult to talk to people below your station in life, which is just about everybody.
- You behaved dishonourably in the past, but this does not stop you marrying well.
- Your lot in life is largely determined by the fact you have an elder brother. Your only realistic career options are the church, the law or the army.
- Your good opinion once lost is lost forever.
- You grow apples and strawberries, but have people to pick them for you.
- The woman you love is attracted to a man with charming manners who you know to be unworthy of her, but your sense of honour prevents you from telling anyone.
- That same sense of honour caused you to keep silent on a delicate matter. In retrospect, things would have been a LOT easier if you hadn’t.
- You understand muslins particularly well.
- You do not like freckles.
- You have described your future wife as “tolerable”.
- You have difficulty communicating your true feelings verbally. Fortunately, you have exceptional letter-writing skills.
- You’re not as dashing or exciting as your rival, but are hopeful the woman you love will recognise your true qualities. It takes a while, though.
- The woman you long considered a mere friend or cousin turns out to be the love of your life.
- You are an officer but never do any actual soldiering.
- You think nothing of proposing to a woman you met about a week ago.
- A woman who once rejected you out of hand is now stalking you. She has even been inside your house while you were away.
- Nobody ever uses your first name. Not even your aunt. Or your best friend.
- You are single, in possession of a good fortune, and in want of a wife.