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Are you a male character in a Jane Austen novel?

13th November 2017 by Mark 2 Comments
 

Mallory Ortberg has a brilliant take on a similar question, written from a largely female point of view. So I wondered, how might a man tell if he’s living in a Jane Austen novel?

  • You once proposed to a woman and it did not go as well as expected. To say the least.
  • Your sister is in love with your best friend, who is in love with the sister of the woman you are in love with.
  • You own a library.
  • You find it difficult to talk to people below your station in life, which is just about everybody.
  • You behaved dishonourably in the past, but this does not stop you marrying well.
  • Your lot in life is largely determined by the fact you have an elder brother. Your only realistic career options are the church, the law or the army.
  • Your good opinion once lost is lost forever.
  • You grow apples and strawberries, but have people to pick them for you.
  • The woman you love is attracted to a man with charming manners who you know to be unworthy of her, but your sense of honour prevents you from telling anyone.
  • That same sense of honour caused you to keep silent on a delicate matter. In retrospect, things would have been a LOT easier if you hadn’t.
  • You understand muslins particularly well.
  • You do not like freckles.
  • You have described your future wife as “tolerable”.
  • You have difficulty communicating your true feelings verbally. Fortunately, you have exceptional letter-writing skills.
  • You’re not as dashing or exciting as your rival, but are hopeful the woman you love will recognise your true qualities. It takes a while, though.
  • The woman you long considered a mere friend or cousin turns out to be the love of your life.
  • You are an officer but never do any actual soldiering.
  • You think nothing of proposing to a woman you met about a week ago.
  • A woman who once rejected you out of hand is now stalking you. She has even been inside your house while you were away.
  • Nobody ever uses your first name. Not even your aunt. Or your best friend.
  • You are single, in possession of a good fortune, and in want of a wife.

Filed Under: Random musings

Comments

  1. Teresa Broderick says

    13th November 2017 at 9:21 pm

    Love it Mark!!! Think I got them all.

    Reply
    • Mark says

      13th November 2017 at 9:38 pm

      Excellent, Teresa! I will admit that Mr Darcy was quite prominent…

      Reply

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